I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
