i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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