We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
