I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
and you fell through a lawn chair
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
