i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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