I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
