Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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