You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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