I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
