these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
