I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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