Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
3 2 1 whiskey
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
