Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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