i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
grandma shit on top of the toilet
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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