i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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