her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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