we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
