We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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