the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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