ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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