I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We need to get me chipped asap
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
