My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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