Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
