im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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