hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
