Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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