I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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