Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
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I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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