I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
