Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
