I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
