we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
