So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Is it penis luge time yet?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
