I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize