I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
