Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
