just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
