Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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