who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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