I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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