never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
