so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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