I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
