I hate your face
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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