i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
