I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
