i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
