I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Everclear isn't food dammit
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
