i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Randomize
