I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
