I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
