I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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