we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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