two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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