arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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